Talking to myself

A few bleary-eyed but surprisingly clear thoughts for me to take a closer look at later, after I've climbed into hubby's cigar-stinky truck (van is in the shop for a couple of days) and fetch some groceries. (Spicy Cheezits and yogurt smoothies are gone. Crisis!)

I've been dodging what I've really been thinking about Crowmaker in the interest of maintaining an optimistic outlook. If I'm realistic, I recognize a couple of things: Yes, I have a lot of word count. A lot of it is good, usable word count, and it's a great start. But it is nowhere near to an ending and possibly not even too close to even the half a novel I've been assuming it was. And it is, once again, threatening to stall out on me. And while I love the story in my head, what's on virtual paper does not even begin to approach a reasonable facsimile of that story.

Having recognized those potentially depressing facts, however, I am able to set about doing something about them. Which in turn allows me to recognize a couple more things: I've been worldbuilding by the seat of my pants in order to allow myself to move forward on story. Stopping and taking a more rigorous approach to worldbuilding may give me the solid footing I'm flailing around for. Worldbuilding and the research inherent in such take time. (I like to go looking for flavor for my fantasy worlds in reality, and Crowmaker has a decidedly Wild West slant going for it.) Worldbuilding and research do not result in much of anything that resembles actual word count. I tend to lean very heavily on word count as a measurement of productivity, even more so when I'm putting my word count out where other people can see it. I need to bite the bullet, remember I'm not out to prove anything to anyone, and track my time instead of my word count while I step back from the ms and do the background stuff.

I may also need to backtrack through existing ms and retro-build the flimsy excuse for setting I have there, which may bring to life some of the scenes that are only breathing on a ventilator right now. I will, however, make this assessment at a later time.

I'd decided to put the Q3 story on the back burner until post-Crowmaker first draft. In the interest of giving myself a break I might actually need and allowing myself to feel I've accomplished something on at least one front, I may change my mind (again) and give it the old revision process so it can go forth bravely into the WotF contest this quarter after all. Maybe.

No news on the Q2 WotF contest as yet. I've had enough other stories filling my time to not be overly concerned with watching that for results. This is a good thing. I can possibly be a little obsessive sometimes.

Onward to do battle with the great stinky truck and the shopping cart. Yay.